conversations with my 13-year old self
Dear 13-year old me:
Hey there. Yeah, I know this is weird, but there are some things you need to know. You’re in the middle of Junior High School. So let’s start there.
That blonde kid with the glasses? Don’t waste your time being friends with him. Eventually, you’re going to get busted for shoplifting and he’s going to blame the whole thing on you (and Dad is going to knock you around pretty badly for it). It should make you feel better to know that if you do go through with it, when you’re grown a lot more, you’ll see him later in life and feel somewhat sorry for him. He may or may not totally have it coming, but that’s not for you to decide.
Speaking of growing… um… the next few years are going to be kind of awkward. The good news is you don’t have to worry about being too short for much longer. In the next 2-3 years, you’ll grow about 10 inches, seriously. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. So, eat more or you’ll be painfully skinny. Yes, I hate to admit it, but Mom is totally right about this.
Okay, I’ll tell you this but I don’t think it’s going to matter – you’re going to hurt yourself. A lot. And soon. I’d tell you to stay off your bike and out of cars and to protect your heart, but the truth is, knowing us as I now know us, you’d find a way to hurt yourself no matter what.
On that note, you’re going to break your arm soon. Badly. I mean, you’ll snap that thing right in two. I would tell you how it’s going to happen, but it’s much more fun as a surprise. Plus, it makes for a good story later in life. And get some attention from that boy you have a crush on.
You really should wear your glasses more.
High School is going to suck. But I hear it sucks for everyone. My two biggest pieces of advice are: go to class more, and no matter what you do, do not go after the curly-haired boys. Only heartbreak will ensue, and it will take you a long time to recover, trust me on this. There is one curly-haired boy who will make your life great later, but neither of them is him. Stick with guy who’s calling you all the time, he’s perfectly nice and won’t mistreat you. Of course, it’ll ultimately fail, but that’s high school. Also, be less of a jerk when you break up with him.
Despite all the warnings, don’t sweat the drugs. Just go ahead and try them and have fun. You’re going to end up fine. But perhaps you shouldn’t drop acid that summer during college, because that entire time will be pretty blurry for a long time. Nothing bad really came about from it, but it just wasn’t a great idea.
Listen, about Dad, I know you kind of hate him right now, but try to be patient. It’s not going to be easy, and you’ve got another year or two of scattered beatings before he stops. But he will stop. He doesn’t really know how to handle these things, but he will learn, I promise.
Grandma will become a mentor and a confidant. You will have hours-long conversations about Ireland and feel jealous of the time she spent there. Appreciate her, you will miss her when she’s gone.
College is going to be an unholy mess but a huge learning experience. I’d tell you to drink less and go to class more, but I don’t think it’ll do any good. There will be serious boyfriend drama toward the end, but don’t fret too much, you come out of it a better person. Try to be less of a pretentious asshole, and stop making fun of the small-town kids, because you came from one too. After college, you will panic. You won’t have a home or a job but just relax. These things will work themselves out. When you get to New York, I’d advise against taking the sublet on 72nd Street. That place will turn into a nightmare.
Also… the hardest time of your life will be the summers of 2001 and 2005, when you will feel utterly broken. You will come through it.
Oh, some final things:
1. Your best friends in high school will probably be your friends for a very long time.
2. Don’t give up on the Cubs.
3. And don’t get too excited when you hear about new Star Wars movies.
4. Trust your mom on the sunscreen.
